My friends

Most of my friends aren't married, are about to get married, or don't have kids.  It's a completely different world; most of them don't understand the marriage life.  It's even harder to explain it to them.

When my friends think about getting married



 I find it hilarious now when my friends ask me to go out and party with them, like if I didn't have a pregnant wife.  Every now and then though, I do get a chance to have some "man time".

 

 

When I want to go out but my wife says no

 

I'm so excited for Scarlett to arrive, and sometimes it's hard to explain to people how awesome it is.  Then there are a few negative people that assume that because you are going to have a kid that your life is ruined.

 

The look on my face when people say stupid shit

There are a lot of cool things that come out of marriage and children.  Here are some the one's I have already encountered.

 

When my wife and I cook an awesome dinner together

 

 

 

Doing chores together

 

 

 What I look like at Date Night

 

 

 

 

 

When I'm losing at Couples Game Night

 

 

 

 

 

 When we are playing Mario Brothers and

my wife "accidently" kills me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Wife

The whole thing about marriage is very confusing.  Imagine if marriage didn't exist in our world today, and a man comes up to you and is like "So we have been seeing each other for a long time...so I was thinking we should make this permanent.  As in, you only get to sleep with me and no one else until the day you die.  Also, you have to wear this ring so that everyone knows you made this promise." 

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Many women (including my wife) believe "love" is what keeps a marriage together and I call bullshit on that.  Saying "FUCK IT" is what keeps it together, because every day it all ends the same.  I can home and she says "What do you want for dinner?" Me: "I don't know? What do you want for dinner?" Wife: "I don't know, what do you want?" Me: "A gun in my mouth so we never have to talk about this again." 

The main reason we stopped eating out was not only to save money but because we couldn't come to a decision to eat anywhere.  That conversation would sound a lot like negotiations between North and South Korea.

  If picking what to eat wasn't enough to launch all nuclear weapons at each other, it's all-out war when we have to pick what to watch on TV and that's the reason why we can't have nice things. 

Moral of the story, it's not love that keeps a family together.  It's saying "fuck it" and moving on, not getting stuck on the small things like when your wife burns dinner because she was watching glee.